Wednesday, December 21, 2011

On Saying No to Shortbread: 5 Tips for a Saner Holiday


One of my coaching clients recently posted a question in our online group about how to be good to yourself during the especially hectic holiday season. This post has stayed with me, and I have been pondering it while on vacation in beautiful Arizona.

This year hubby and I chose to take a month off and have our Christmas holidays away from home and from most of our family and friends. We were craving time off together, and both wanted a simpler, less frantic experience of the season.

Don't get me wrong - I absolutely love the fun and indulgence of Christmas - lavish decorations, an abundance of delicious food, connecting with friends near and far - and at the same time it can be a stressful, busy anxious time. I like to shake it up once in awhile, and have come to love the freedom of going away for Christmas.

Being away offers a great reframing of the way to "do" Christmas. It's an opportunity to sort of sit back and observe the season and to think over past seasons.

The wisdom that has been coming to me as I recall seasons past and am present to this one, is that we truly do create all of our experiences and the holidays are just another set of experiences that we get to practice with.

So if you are looking for ways to approach the holidays with a new perspective, here are a few questions and suggestions to think about:

  1. What is the essence of the experience you want to create this holiday?
  2. Stay focused on the essence and use the law of attraction and the technique of 'asking' to create it.
  3. In saying 'yes' to the essence experience, what are you saying 'no' to? 
  4. In your mind, play with the 'saying yes-saying no technique' - where do you notice excitement in the yes and relief in the no? Follow your feelings.
  5. If you are struggling with saying no - for example to a family tradition that you find a bit overwhelming, or just one thing too many - what might you being saying yes to? Sometimes in saying no to that area, we can open up  a whole new opportunity, create a new tradition, or simply lower our own and others' expectations - which can offer great relief.

For me, this is a very different year and I am truly relishing the experience I wanted of real holiday. Days filled with holy quiet and time to ponder and dream.

And I am also daily practicing yes/no to the many usual Christmas activities that can be so seductive. Here in the shopping mecca of Scottsdale, opportunities abound to jump in eagerly and buy, wrap, decorate, bake and overindulge.

Saying no to baking shortbread, means saying yes to an afternoon nap and a healthier Vicki.

Saying yes to buying fruitcake means a little Christmas indulgence for all and no to hours in the kitchen.

You get the drift.

There's a kind of an art to this Christmas balancing act - a plate of cookies in one hand and a sense of healthy well-being in the other.

Santa and I both agree - take a little time off this Christmas.

Sending wishes to you all that you create the Christmas you truly want and most of all, say 'yes' to you.

Happy holidays!

6 comments:

  1. what a great post! hmmmm, I may not say 'no' to shortbread, but there have been many other 'no's this season. No to 'just one more gift', No to 'one more outing. And I really surprized myself and said 'no' to Ree Drumonds' fancy frilly potato recipe!! It was hard (I mean she is almost irresistible) but my good ol' mashed potatoes will do nicely!

    PS: just love the puppies in the Santa photo! just love the Santa photo!!

    Enjoy!

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  2. Nice post Vicki. A great reminder to practice the 'saying yes-saying no' technique. Very enlightening!

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  3. Merry Christmas Vickie! Love your post. I've reached a point of not making Christmas so perfect. You are right, when I say no to something it gives relief to others. When you come from a large family (both mine and my husband's) the holidays can be too much....

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  4. Thanks Darlene! If you like this Santa - you will love some of Tom Newsom's other Santas...you can check them out here: http://www.newsomart.com/gallery.php?gallery=6

    SixDegrees: I just love yes/no - it always opens a new perspective for me.

    Sue, so lovely to hear your affirmation of not making Christmas perfect. High expectations can create such stress. Have a joy-filled season with lots of time for you!

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  5. Great post.Thanks for sharing such a useful information with us.

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